April 3, 2024
In Loving Memory ~
Lifelong learner and teacher, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler completed her bodily journey on April 3, 2024. Known to many as Roberta, first as Veale, then Botsford (Barry, m. 1970), then Scotthorne (David, m. 1976), in British Columbia, she claimed her new name, Rhoberta Shaler, in 1996, as she transitioned to her second career that fully bloomed as she set down roots in San Marcos, California.
Born Nov 1945 in Nanaimo BC, only child to parents Harry and Dorothy Malet-Veale (pre-deceased), Rhoberta graduated from NDSS in 1963. Between 1963-1989 she earned an ARCT, BA, M.Ed, and Ph.D across a spectrum of disciplines within Education and Psychology.
From 1974 through 1997, Rhoberta worked in the Cowichan School District—predominantly as music specialist and alt-ed administrator—as well as for the BCTF throughout the province delivering Pro-D workshops.
During her later years with the School District, Rhoberta operated a counseling center on Bowen Road in Nanaimo as well as her passion project, Serenity Farm Retreat, located in Cassidy, BC. Both ventures were to help folks struggling with life-threatening illnesses and toxic relationships, as well as often hosting workshops on team- and relationship-building, yoga, and holistic healing speakers and courses.
In the second act of Rhoberta's life, her work and mission took her south of the border, where in 2001 she established the Optimize Institute and began her focused work helping people in toxic relationships.
She coined the term "Hijackals" to non-clinically describe folks with narcissistic personality traits and built a wide following, reaching 1000s of people directly through speaking and individual work, and millions through her books, YouTube channel, and podcast "Save your Sanity".
She became a comforting voice, a shining light of hope, and a beacon of strength and knowledge to clients facing overwhelming relationship crises. Fulfilling this mission allowed Rhoberta to finally rest, knowing she had made such a positive impact on so many.
Mother Rhoberta leaves her children Kera (Tish), Dirke (Carolyn), and Paul (Ashley). Nana/Grandma leaves her grandchildren Luka, Zachary, Simon, Mikayla, Anthony, Sofia, and Londyn. Great Grandma (GG) leaves Isaak, Logan, Ember, Milo, Liam, and one more on the way.
Rest easy now in comfort Mom, Nana, and GG. You left in grace and very loved.
You will be missed by many.